Take THAT Samsung Advertising Types!

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Samsung LED BACKLIT LCD

Remember my rant a few months back, venting my anger towards Samsung’s misleading “LED TV” Ads? Well, looks like it’s Score: 1 for the UK Advertising Standards Authority.

They’ve ordered Samsung to change they way they portray the new TVs, to make general consumers more aware of what they’re buying.

Samsung are still trying to worm their way around it though. Gees, why is everyone in such a rush to be first? It just makes a mess of things.

[Via: Engadget HD]

Umbrella using Avon to peddle T-virus

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This has been posted about plenty of times already, but I felt like bringing it to everyone’s attention once again.

Avon’s latest skin Serum, Derma-Full X3, looks shockingly like Umbrella Corp’s T-Virus!

Avon T-Virus

A harmless coincidence by a cosmetic company, or Umbrella’s sneaky attempt to turn us all into brain-hungry flesh-eaters?

I’m going for the latter. So, be warned if you’re looking to try this ‘serum’ – it takes more than soap and water to rid yourself of the effects of it. You’ll need to ask someone to remove your head with a shotgun…

Samsung have an “LED” TV… apparently

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Well it looks like Samsung can’t resist jumping on the Buzzword Bandwagon either.

Samsung LED LCD TV

Samsung have recently released their “LED” TVs. “But surely that’s a good thing” I hear you say. “I thought LED TVs were the next best thing, to supersede LCD TVs” you tell me.

You’re mistaking this for the OLED TVs that are due to start making their way into our homes later this year, and Samsung are counting on this. Sony already have an OLED TV available, albeit only 11 inches in size and a naff resolution of 940×540.

Samsung could have easily named the news sets “LED edge-lit LCD TVs”, but they have decided to move away from the convention of naming sets based on their panel/screen type (CRT, Plasma, LCD, OLED) and start calling them based on their backlight type.

Another excellent example of confusing the crap out of the unsuspecting public with more marketing twaddle!

This is not an attack on the sets themselves. I have read that they’re very, very nice. The edge-lit LED magic allows the sets to be wafer-thin. But there is NOTHING on the site that mentions them being standard LCD TVs, with a different type of LED backlight (LED backlighting is usually ‘direct’ from behind the panel, not from the edge). So they are clearly, falsely, marketing this as an LED TV. They even have it in a separate section, away from the LCD TVs!

Samsung….How very dare you. If I fit a car battery to my car made by, say, a company called ‘Rocket’ – could I then say my car is “Rocket Powered”?!

P.S. I have just noticed that they are calling the USB 2 port on the TV a “USB 2.0 Movie” port. As if there’s any difference. Give it a rest!

Mac vs PC, Transformers Style

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Impressive Transformers twist, on the ongoing Mac vs PC debate.

Video by Nick Greenlee

[Via TUAW]

BBC Drops Crufts

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After their broadcast, Pedigree Dogs Exposed, which revealed the barbaric practices that go on behind the scenes of Pedigree dog breeding, the BBC will no longer be televising Crufts.

This is due to the Kennel Club’s refusal to comply with the broadcaster’s request to exclude certain breeds from the show.

This is a minor victory for the poor dogs that are put through these practices, but a victory none the less, as the BBC refusing to publicise it will hopefully put some breeders off.

[Via Animal Aid]

When the Stupid get tough, the Tough make logos

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One of the articles in my feeds a while ago (yes, back in November. Apparently I have a ‘backlog’), reminded my of yet another pet hate of mine – the marketing stickers and logos found on almost every piece of (usually techie) equipment in department stores.

mp3 100% Compatible

What ever happened to researching your next big purchase via books, reviews and on-line forums?

I’m not sure which came first – the consumer’s lack of knowledge, or the big shiny “look what I can do” logos – but this dumbing-down is getting worse.

I first really noticed it when the “HD Ready” logos started appearing on flat panel TVs. I’m planning a whole other rant about the ins and outs of HD TV, resolutions and connections, so I’ll leave the major details until then. But this logo just caused more ignorance and lead folk to purchase expensive equipment that would soon be below-par for the use they had intended it for.

HD (not so) Ready

For a TV to be “HD Ready”, it had to have at least 720 horizontal lines of resolution in a wide screen ratio (1280 x 720). Yet the sticker was placed on “480 panel” (848 x 480) Plasma TVs and wide screen LCDs with resolutions like 1024 x 768 (NOT wide screen, so the pixels are stretched). Now, because of consumer’s blind trust, they have TV sets that will take an HD Signal, but not display the full detail of a proper HD picture, not even a mid-range 720p picture! And in the case of the saps with the 480 panels – they are viewing resolution LESS than that of UK Standard Definition.

Anyway, I’m straying here.

We’re now at the stage where people just do not bother researching anything about what they are about to buy. You’d think that buying that expensive something your family are going to use to view nearly all their entertainment with – and spend (unfortunately) most of their free time in front of – would cause a person to at least have a quick glance on-line as to what they might want. But no. Instead they expect to walk into a shop at 13:00 and, governed by the stickers and the (lack of) knowledge by Mr Salesman, be out of there with a shiney new ‘does-everything’ TV, DVD player, Hi-Fi etc by 13:30!

Some of these stickers seem to be aimed at the Super-Dumb range of shoppers too. Those with the “the more stickers the better” mentality. These stickers don’t even offer any useful info, but instead just state the obvious. Such as;

LCDRGBStandby

Fake logos created with LogoMaker

What? That LCD TV has an LCD Panel, Red, Green and Blue Pixels, and a Standby Light? NO. Really? Wow!

This all makes me wonder where it will go next. Where will the idiocy spill over? Can I expect to walk into a car dealership soon and see these staring me in the face?;

Spare TyrePetrol CompatiblePassenger Ready

Sad, isn’t it?

Yet this progression of ineptitude will not cease unless the manufacturers, (or even just the stores, where the manufacturers haven’t etched the logos on), put a halt on their logo-lust. Force buyers to delve into the how’s why’s of that new purchase. Make the floor staff read up on what they’re selling. And Dixons – Stop copying and pasting those useless little info tags, cos it’s obvious you nearly always forget to edit the pasted info!

So next time you feel yourself being drawn towards the promise of “dynamic contrast ratio“, that new “Super-hyper true-motion chip” or “intelligent picture control” because of those precious little stickers… Run. Run for your lives!

Merge In Turn

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Road Works

Road works – they’re inevitable, you can’t really avoid them, they’re a necessity that we all have to deal with on many occasions. But it’s not the road works that are the subject of this rant, it’s the “Idiot Queue” that forms on many of them.

What’s an “Idiot Queue”? It’s those queues you see where someone has started one, with no thought or reason, and has everyone following suit, making life that much more difficult for the rest of the, more intelligent, population.

Another good example is the single-file 30-shopper-long queues that from in front of say 5 open checkouts (with the front-most shopper claiming the next free one), instead of 5, shorter queues of 6 shoppers. Come on people, relax, get a clue, your life isn’t that dependant on squeezing those extra few minutes from the supermarket. And if you accidentally stumble into one of the free checkouts, not seeing the ‘proper‘ queue, god help you. You’d think you’re about to be lynched, judging by the looks you get!

Anyway, I’m straying slightly.

800yards

These “One Lane Closed” road works are a great place to pull up a chair and watch this phenomenon unfold. Drivers see the “Lane Closed Ahead, 800 Yards” sign as an instruction to get in the open lane as quick as possible. Why?! The other lane is open for the next 800 frickin Yards, use it!

Because of this, you find tailbacks stretching for miles sometimes, with a lane completely devoid of any vehicle, for absolutely no reason, causing more, unnecessary headache further back.

I believe people do this due to some kind of “must claim my place in the queue” mentality. But if everyone used both lanes, merging in turn at the point of lane closure (like you should do!) they’d all leave the road works in the same order anyway. Yes, you do get the odd prick refusing to let anyone in. But so what if you’re a few cars back from where you would have been? You’re stuck in the road works anyway, moving through them at the same speed. And does that extra few seconds really make that much difference?

If you can’t quite grasp my meaning, please take a look at my crude diagrams below (click each one to view a larger version). You see that car in the “correct” diagram, turning left into the street? That would have been me the other day, if it wasn’t for the shocking amount of monumentally mindless bell-ends in the many cars before me. Instead, I was stuck trying to get around the round-about, behind the morons trying to claim their spot in the queue. As you can see, if everyone used both lanes, there would have been no problems on the round-about.

CorrectFAIL!

And lets not forget that golden example of pure stupidity – the guy in the 4×4 driving on top of the dotted line, refusing to let anyone past to use the free lane. Well done you Goit. You’re now one step ahead of your fellow man claiming their spot in the queue – you’re actually stopping the good-eggs from showing how it’s meant to be done! If you see this shining beacon of moronic behaviour, please feel free to remove him – a nice spud up the exhaust pipe should get him off the road for a while.

But, leaving on a good note, I actually found myself on the better end of this behaviour a few months back…

During one of my many trips across the country, I hear on the radio about a two mile, stop-start, tailback on the motorway I was on, causing about half an hour of delays. Bugger. Not able to turn around, there wasn’t much to do but carry on. Imagine my delight when, driving in the right-hand lane, I pass the “Road Works Ahead” sign with a stream of stationary cars to the left of me. Carrying on, still nothing in my lane, until 2 miles later, I’m met with the Lane Closed Sign. About 20 seconds later, someone lets me in, and I’m through the 100 Yard Road Works in a matter of a couple of minutes! Wahoo! See ya later losers! I did spare a thought for all those choosing to from that huge queue, honestly, I really did.

So, next time you’re in this situation, please, please, think for a second and use all of the free road. Don’t add to the unnecessary problems caused by following the sheep.

Windows Update rant, from Bill Gates

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You’re the head of a multi-Billion Dollar company and part of the product that has bought you said Billions is getting on your nerves… What do you do?

You have a good ol’ rant!

Part of Bill Gates’ day-to-day activities is picking fault in Windows to “make things better”. But one particular email caught the attention of Todd Bishop when it was turned over in the antitrust suits against Microsoft.

There’s nothing ground-breaking or controversial about the email, and it was sent back in 2003. But it’s somewhat interesting reading the thoughts of Bill’s experiences with Windows Update.

—- Original Message —-

From: Bill Gates
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Jim Allchin
Cc: Chris Jones (WINDOWS); Bharat Shah (NT); Joe Peterson; Will Poole; Brian Valentine; Anoop Gupta (RESEARCH)
Subject: Windows Usability Systematic degradation flame

I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don’t drive usability issues.

Let me give you my experience from yesterday.

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack … so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.

This site is so slow it is unusable.

It wasn’t in the top 5 so I expanded the other 45.

These 45 names are totally confusing. These names make stuff like: C:\Documents and Settings\billg\My Documents\My Pictures seem clear.

They are not filtered by the system … and so many of the things are strange.

I tried scoping to Media stuff. Still no moviemaker. I typed in movie. Nothing. I typed in movie maker. Nothing.

So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying – where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist?

So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated.

They told me to go to the main page search button and type movie maker (not moviemaker!).

I tried that. The site was pathetically slow but after 6 seconds of waiting up it came.

I thought for sure now I would see a button to just go do the download.

In fact it is more like a puzzle that you get to solve. It told me to go to Windows Update and do a bunch of incantations.

This struck me as completely odd. Why should I have to go somewhere else and do a scan to download moviemaker?

So I went to Windows update. Windows Update decides I need to download a bunch of controls. (Not) just once but multiple times where I get to see weird dialog boxes.

Doesn’t Windows update know some key to talk to Windows?

Then I did the scan. This took quite some time and I was told it was critical for me to download 17megs of stuff.

This is after I was told we were doing delta patches to things but instead just to get 6 things that are labeled in the SCARIEST possible way I had to download 17meg.

So I did the download. That part was fast. Then it wanted to do an install. This took 6 minutes and the machine was so slow I couldn’t use it for anything else during this time.

What the heck is going on during those 6 minutes? That is crazy. This is after the download was finished.

Then it told me to reboot my machine. Why should I do that? I reboot every night — why should I reboot at that time?

So I did the reboot because it INSISTED on it. Of course that meant completely getting rid of all my Outlook state.

So I got back up and running and went to Windows Update again. I forgot why I was in Windows Update at all since all I wanted was to get Moviemaker.

So I went back to Microsoft.com and looked at the instructions. I have to click on a folder called WindowsXP. Why should I do that? Windows Update knows I am on Windows XP.

What does it mean to have to click on that folder? So I get a bunch of confusing stuff but sure enough one of them is Moviemaker.

So I do the download. The download is fast but the Install takes many minutes. Amazing how slow this thing is.

At some point I get told I need to go get Windows Media Series 9 to download.

So I decide I will go do that. This time I get dialogs saying things like “Open” or “Save”. No guidance in the instructions which to do. I have no clue which to do.

The download is fast and the install takes 7 minutes for this thing.

So now I think I am going to have Moviemaker. I go to my add/remove programs place to make sure it is there.

It is not there.

What is there? The following garbage is there. Microsoft Autoupdate Exclusive test package, Microsoft Autoupdate Reboot test package, Microsoft Autoupdate testpackage1. Microsoft AUtoupdate testpackage2, Microsoft Autoupdate Test package3.

Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.

But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.

What an absolute mess.

Moviemaker is just not there at all.

So I give up on Moviemaker and decide to download the Digital Plus Package.

I get told I need to go enter a bunch of information about myself.

I enter it all in and because it decides I have mistyped something I have to try again. Of course it has cleared out most of what I typed.

I try (typing) the right stuff in 5 times and it just keeps clearing things out for me to type them in again.

So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that Microsoft.com is a terrible website I haven’t run Moviemaker and I haven’t got the plus package.

The lack of attention to usability represented by these experiences blows my mind. I thought we had reached a low with Windows Network places or the messages I get when I try to use 802.11. (don’t you just love that root certificate message?)

When I really get to use the stuff I am sure I will have more feedback.

[Via Todd Bishop's Microsoft blog on SeattlePI.com]

Apple: The Scrooge Years

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Before a start this rant, I feel I need to confess that I’m somewhat of an Apple fan-boy. I love Apple products. But there are  few things that bug the crap out of me. One being the apparent dwindling generosity of the company where it’s media players are concerned…

I remember a time when Apple didn’t think twice about showering new iPod owners with accessories included with the device. Not to mention keeping all 3rd party accessories compatible through the release of new generations of the media player, and keeping all revisions as up-to-date with each other where it’s feasible.

Now it seems that they are cutting back as much as possible and attempting to see just how much they can squeeze a few extra bucks out of us.

My first iPod was a 20GB 3rd Gen back in 2003. A device that’s still running strong even today (albeit with less and less use as the years role by). With this was included;

  1. 1.8 metre FireWire cable, with cable clip
  2. FireWire Wall Charger
  3. Headphones
  4. Foam Headphone Covers
  5. In-line Remote Control
  6. Protective Case, with belt clip
  7. Dock
  8. 2 Port Covers

Quite a list, eh?

Now take the list of included accessories with my 160GB iPod Classic;

  1. 1 metre USB Cable
  2. Headphones
  3. Foam Headphone Covers

… That’s it, not even a frickin Wall Charger!

Come on Apple – Stop being so tight and start making your customers feel like they’re getting great value for money again!

It’s getting like this with compatibility too – I have a stack of video cables, docks and adaptors that will work with almost every generation of iPod going… except the latest.

TV Out EnabledAccessory Not Compatible

It’s nice having better features like Component-out, but I’m sure they could arrange the pins in such a way that keeps nearly everything compatible. I can see accessories becoming defunct with every new iPod revision. I feel this cross-compatibility was lost after the 5th (and “5.5th”) Gen iPods, which are, in my opinion, the best iPods to date. Apple even screwed up by changing the audio hardware.

The Firmware doesn’t seem to be immune to this either. The new iPod Classics have the Genius Menu, but Apple will not release an update for the current Classics to add this. WTF?

The iPhone has fallen down this hole too. The 1st Gen iPhone included the Dock, whereas the iPhone 3G does not. again, pointless and Scrooge-like.

I only hope they pull their head from their arse and stop making us fork out for this, that and the other, so we can start enjoying our iPods as fully as we used to.

Anyway, upon looking for more dock port protectors (I lost my handy little slithers of white plastic) I came across the following video from when the 1st Gen iPod was unleashed onto the world. Back then no one knew the impact Apple’s “First Attempt” at an MP3 player would have on the market.

1,200 tunes on something the size of two cassettes? Have you ever imagined such a wondrous thing?

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