Road works – they’re inevitable, you can’t really avoid them, they’re a necessity that we all have to deal with on many occasions. But it’s not the road works that are the subject of this rant, it’s the “Idiot Queue” that forms on many of them.
What’s an “Idiot Queue”? It’s those queues you see where someone has started one, with no thought or reason, and has everyone following suit, making life that much more difficult for the rest of the, more intelligent, population.
Another good example is the single-file 30-shopper-long queues that from in front of say 5 open checkouts (with the front-most shopper claiming the next free one), instead of 5, shorter queues of 6 shoppers. Come on people, relax, get a clue, your life isn’t that dependant on squeezing those extra few minutes from the supermarket. And if you accidentally stumble into one of the free checkouts, not seeing the ‘proper‘ queue, god help you. You’d think you’re about to be lynched, judging by the looks you get!
Anyway, I’m straying slightly.
These “One Lane Closed” road works are a great place to pull up a chair and watch this phenomenon unfold. Drivers see the “Lane Closed Ahead, 800 Yards” sign as an instruction to get in the open lane as quick as possible. Why?! The other lane is open for the next 800 frickin Yards, use it!
Because of this, you find tailbacks stretching for miles sometimes, with a lane completely devoid of any vehicle, for absolutely no reason, causing more, unnecessary headache further back.
I believe people do this due to some kind of “must claim my place in the queue” mentality. But if everyone used both lanes, merging in turn at the point of lane closure (like you should do!) they’d all leave the road works in the same order anyway. Yes, you do get the odd prick refusing to let anyone in. But so what if you’re a few cars back from where you would have been? You’re stuck in the road works anyway, moving through them at the same speed. And does that extra few seconds really make that much difference?
If you can’t quite grasp my meaning, please take a look at my crude diagrams below (click each one to view a larger version). You see that car in the “correct” diagram, turning left into the street? That would have been me the other day, if it wasn’t for the shocking amount of monumentally mindless bell-ends in the many cars before me. Instead, I was stuck trying to get around the round-about, behind the morons trying to claim their spot in the queue. As you can see, if everyone used both lanes, there would have been no problems on the round-about.
And lets not forget that golden example of pure stupidity – the guy in the 4×4 driving on top of the dotted line, refusing to let anyone past to use the free lane. Well done you Goit. You’re now one step ahead of your fellow man claiming their spot in the queue – you’re actually stopping the good-eggs from showing how it’s meant to be done! If you see this shining beacon of moronic behaviour, please feel free to remove him – a nice spud up the exhaust pipe should get him off the road for a while.
But, leaving on a good note, I actually found myself on the better end of this behaviour a few months back…
During one of my many trips across the country, I hear on the radio about a two mile, stop-start, tailback on the motorway I was on, causing about half an hour of delays. Bugger. Not able to turn around, there wasn’t much to do but carry on. Imagine my delight when, driving in the right-hand lane, I pass the “Road Works Ahead” sign with a stream of stationary cars to the left of me. Carrying on, still nothing in my lane, until 2 miles later, I’m met with the Lane Closed Sign. About 20 seconds later, someone lets me in, and I’m through the 100 Yard Road Works in a matter of a couple of minutes! Wahoo! See ya later losers! I did spare a thought for all those choosing to from that huge queue, honestly, I really did.
So, next time you’re in this situation, please, please, think for a second and use all of the free road. Don’t add to the unnecessary problems caused by following the sheep.
